Great Britain and America Take Their Governments to Court

It’s New Year’s Eve. I am indulging myself in a whimsical set of circumstances, none of which actually occurred. But wouldn’t it be nice?

British public serve class-action suit on Parliament and House of Lords

In a stunning reverse of circumstances, a class-action suit was read today in both Houses of Parliament, Commons and Lords. The suit, with some nine-hundred thousand signatures, asks a stoppage of ongoing legislation regarding BREXIT, charging dereliction of duty both personally and collectively against all elected members of the respective bodies. At contention is approval of a BREXIT agreement between Great Britain and the European Commission.

The indictment was read simultaneously by Black Rod in the House of Parliament and the Lord Chamberlain in the House of Lords. The charge in both readings was read out as “dereliction of duty in the highest manner, approaching treason, for the impending approval of BREXIT documents no member of either house had actually read or taken the time to understand.”

Both houses went into immediate recess and the Prime Minister was called to the presence of her majesty, the Queen. More on this as circumstances allow, but there was a great deal of harrumphing and posturing by those elected officials who agreed to be interviewed, their faces ashen. “Bloody outrageous,” one frontbencher claimed, “we are not meant, nor have ever been meant to be held to account.”

In America, as reported last week, a similar popular uprising occurred

On December 23rd, the House of Representatives and Senate were called back into session from their holiday recess to hear indictments of misconduct in office against senators and representatives both personally and collectively regarding passage of unread and misunderstood bills. It is alleged, similarly to the parliamentary indictments, that elected officials had for decades approved major legislative actions, laws and spending programs without the slightest interest in or awareness of their content.

The charges, also in the form of a nationwide class-action suit and carrying somewhat over ten million signatures, date as far back as the USA PATRIOT Act, signed by President George Bush on October 26th of 2001. It is alleged that that act expanded the abilities of law enforcement to surveil, including by tapping domestic and international phones; eased interagency communication to allow federal agencies to more effectively use all available resources in counterterrorism efforts; and increased penalties for terrorism crimes and an expanded list of activities which would qualify someone to be charged with terrorism, all without having been read or understood by a single voting member of Congress.

The transgressions include acts of war, military expenditures, numerous budgetary agreements, taxation issues and various trade agreements.

It is not known if the twin legal moves by the British and American public are coordinated

One would suspect they were at least loosely connected, as each is extraordinary in its reach and focuses on similar complaints. If satisfactory arrangements and agreements in both countries are not reached, it is quite possible that international courts may inevitably become involved. The American stock exchange reopened several days after its normal Christmas break to an unprecedented plunge, then closed again after four hours due to technical triggers having been set off.

In the United States, man-on-the-street interviews were mixed. Comments ranged from “what the fuck do they expect after stealing the country blind” to “man, I’ve got to get my Christmas shopping done before the stores close.”

On the Brit side, exclamations were far less vehement, generally falling into the category of “well, I’m sure they know what they’re doing, we just must stiff-upper and continue to beaver on.” Except, of course, in Scotland where the average public response was “well, we’re gone if they sign this shit. Gone, gone, gone.

Numerous international governments were called into emergency meeting and heads of state mostly avoided statements. Stock markets worldwide remained closed, except for the Fiji Bourse, which is an aggregator of currently closed markets.

Happy New Year to you all and to all a goodnight

As Churchill once said, “America and Great Britain, two great nations divided by a common language.”

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